The Odd Shaped Balls Blog: May 2013

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Aviva Prem End Of Season Reports: London Irish

I'll look at each team in reverse finishing order, looking at what went well, what didn't, stand out players and areas for improvement for the coming season:

London Irish

Final Position: 9th
P: 22	W: 7	L: 14	D: 1	F: 459	A: 601	Pts: 35

Plus Marks:

A campaign to forget for the exiles, who to my eye find themselves a team in flux – they have demonstrated that they have the potential to challenge for at least a Heineken cup spot, but are actually facing at a future of looking over their shoulder nervously at the drop zone.

But we’re here to talk about positives, and I have endeavoured to find some:

- Tom Homer is my favourite Ginger rugby player.

- Topsy Ojo has a terrific name

That’s about it. I have obviously exaggerated for comic effect, but Irish and their fans will be only too aware that there has been precious little to shout about this year, and as we will cover later, the outlook isn’t too rosy either.

Detentions:

Irish’ try bonus points, losing bonus points and indeed total points were identical to Sale’s. A backline containing the likes of Guy Armitage, Topsy Ojo and Jonathan Joseph really should not have managed only score an average of 1.7 tries a game. Oh how they seem to be missing Mike Catt.

I was scathing of Sale’s tendency to roll over and die when they sensed they were beating, and it is criticism I will repeat for Irish. Of the games they lost, they lost them by an average of 18.5 points. 5 times they conceded 40+ points, you simply cannot put any sort of season together when being prone to blowouts like this. In fact, I will be more withering in my criticism for Irish, because a glance at the squad list would indicate that they are not short of the gnarly, never say die type players who you would expect to put up more of a fight for 80 minutes than Sale’s attempt at assembling a North Western Galacticos.

Head Boy:

Say hello to Halani ‘Aulika, all 6 foot 1 and 19 and a half stones of Tongan Prop, who has quickly become a fans’ favourite at the Madjeski. Four years ago, Halani had given up professional rugby in favour the security of a day job, and had ballooned to 24 stones – in an interview with The Rugby Paper, he gave an insight into the strict regime and diet needed to maintain such a figure:

“Four years ago, I was just lazy and had given up. I stopped doing anything, ate whatever I wanted and put on loads of weight. Breakfast? KFC. Lunch? KFC. Dinner? KFC.”

I know, I know, why would anyone want to stop living that dream?! But stop he did, and after some dietary reviews and via a stint in the ITM cup in New Zealand, he made his way with Tonga to the 2011 World cup before joining up with Irish, where he has been little short of a sensation, particularly in the loose. His 6 Premiership tries making him his club’s top try scorer and finishing joint 5^th in the overall tables – not bad for a fat lad!

Predicted Grades Next Year:

It is not looking too rosy for Irish next year. Quite frankly, the ‘players leaving’ and (so far) the ‘players coming in’ columns do not stack up favourably in terms of proven talent. With the Likes of JJ, Corbisiero, Shingler and Garvey all exiting, as well as the confirmation of Jo Ansbro’s retirement following his neck break, the incoming players, whilst all solid looking and/or full of potential will initially struggle to fill these gaps. Unfortunately, If Irish do not start showing tangible signs of improvement soon, they will not be the last big names out of the door either – People like Tom homer and Marland Yarde will be looking to kick on to try and get in the international picture, and this is hard to do in a perennially struggling team.

The defence will need looking at as well, and I would be surprised and worried if a new co-ordinator does not pop up during the off season.

Monday, 20 May 2013

Aviva Prem: End Of Season Report Cards - Sale Sharks

So, barring the fat Lady who is limbering up for her appearance at Twickenham next weekend, the 2012/13 Aviva Premiership season is in the books and I thought it would be a good time to start to look at how each team has fared, whilst running the well trodden 'School Report' thread through it.

I'll look at each team in reverse finishing order, looking at what went well, what didn't, stand out players and areas for improvement for the coming season:

Sale Sharks

Final Position: 10th
P: 22	W: 7	L: 14	D: 1	F: 377	A: 596	Pts: 35

Plus Marks:

Hmm. Much like Worcester before, the only real plus mark for this season for the Sharks is that they managed to turn their season around and secure another season in the Premiership. Unlike Worcester however, who knew that a relegation scrap was always on the cards, Sale were a club coming off a season where they had looked a force on the rise and secured themselves 6th Place and Heineken Cup Rugby.

As mentioned, they made a brief return to the Europe's top table, although the less said about that the better - a Danny Cipriani inspired 34-33 comeback win against Cardiff was the only plus point in their entire campaign.

They have, at times, been able to produce some good looking rugby - when they decide Cipriani is worth selecting and he decides it's worth putting on a show, they do have the ability to shine as a back line. but 30 minutes every couple of games does not cut mustard in the top level of rugby.

Although managerial instability does not usually find its way into the credit column, Sale's woes this year have meant that Steve Diamond, despite his many, baffling efforts to the contrary, has found himself back in the DOR jacket again. Diamond is Mr Sale, he is passionate, embodies the club and seems to have an almost creepily revered position within it. The players clearly want to play for him when he is at the helm - Sale's late season form shows this and hopefully he will realise that no matter the quality of DOR he attempts to bring in, they won't work whilst he is still at the club, even if in a directorial capacity.

Sale did make the final of the LV Trophy, but did so by fielding close to full strength teams in an attempt to remind them what winning games felt like, when the tendency of the majority of other clubs is to blood youngsters, so this success must be treated with a pinch of salt.

Detentions:

Well, where to start?! The lowlight reel could kick off with the fact that Sale lost 7 out of their first 7 games, or we could move it along to their frankly dismal showing in the Heineken (the lowest of this particular low being a 62-0 annihilation away to the freshly crowned champions Toulon). But European rugby is little more than a welcome distraction compared to the bread and butter of keeping yourself in the Premiership.

There has been something a little short of a soap opera in the management of the club - Bryan Redpath coming to club in controversial circumstances to be the new DOR before being humiliatingly and publicly demoted to head coach after Sale's abysmal start, added to the John Mitchell fiasco meant that they eventually ended up exactly where they seem to need to be, with Steve Diamond once again becoming DOR.

Diamond himself has claimed that Sale "had a top-six performance in the second half of the season and a bottom six in the first half", but this somewhat understates how close Sale were to being relegated - even with their form improving after Christmas, it was not until London Welsh were deducted 5 points that Sale moved above them in the table.

On the field, things weren't much better. Inconsistent selection did not help matters any, and their haul of 377 points scored was comfortably the lowest in the division, helping them to claim the worst points difference in the process.

A glance at the bonus points column is a worrying read too; only twice in the season did they score 4 tries in a match and three losing bonus points collected tells a tale of a team with a tendency to roll over when they sense they are beaten. In fact, when you work out the averages for games they lost, they were beaten on average by just over 19 points, including 3 defeats by 30+ points (Prem only - this does not count their Heineken beastings).

Head Boy:

In a squad with names like Cipriani, Grey and Powell scattered through it there have been a couple of younger players who have used the attention and column inches their more illustrious colleagues demand as an effective shield behind which they can come to the fore and offer promise for the future of rugby in the North-West.
One such player has been hooker Tommy Taylor. Regularly forming one of the youngest front rows going when teamed up with Henry Thomas and Ross Harrison (the total age of the three is less than the combined ages of George Chuter and Castro at Leicester), Taylor has grown in stature as the season has moved along, impressing with a good lineout delivery and fitting the emerging pattern of Hookers as the 4th back rower. If Sale can keep this emergent unit together and developing as they have done this season, It can only benefit them moving forward.

Predicted Grades Next Year:

This is my first 'must do better' of the report writing season. Everyone at Sale will be wanting to write this season off, forget about it and move on as quickly as possible, but there are certain lessons that they must take forward.

First and most importantly, Steve Diamond has to remain as DOR, and not just because of the need for stability moving forward - he's bloody good at it!

The recruitment policy seems already to be more encouraging, with the likes of Andy Powell and Richie Grey, their marquee signings of 12 months ago being allowed to move on after exasperating seasons from the both. With a tip of the hat to their doomed relegation rivals London Welsh, they have kept 3 of their players in the top flight for next year, and the recent announcement that Joe Ford will be joining is another good, but lower profile, acquisition.

Their tendency to roll over and die needs addressing, and this really is done up front, where instead of star power, Sale have gone for grit and work rate, bringing Charlie Walker Blair in from Jersey, Michael Paterson from Cardiff and the Russian Kulemin from Welsh.

Sale will have to eventually face the question that so far Wasps and the Melbourne Rebels have answered no to - is Danny Cipriani, on balance, worth sticking with? the signing of Ford hints that at least long term, they already know the answer. In the short term, he might needs some road safety awareness classes!

Friday, 17 May 2013

Aviva Prem: End Of Season Report Cards - Worcester Warriors

Worcester Warriors

Final Position: 11th
P: 22	W: 5	L: 16	D: 1	F: 422	A: 547	Pts: 33

Plus Marks:

Well, really, I would suppose surviving in the Premiership has been the best thing about Worcester's season. Worcester, as one of the 'smaller' teams in the division always seem fated to struggle, but really with the quality of team that they could put out, it seems a bit hard to understand why they were. This appears to be a view shared by Chairman Cecil Duckworth, who lost patience and instigated a parting of the ways with DOR Richard Hill towards the back end of the season.

It really was a season that started off promising, well, not a lot, and delivered on all fronts! With only two wins from their opening 8 games (against London Irish and Sale, both of whom at that point would not have been able to beat the Old Albanians Girls u14 2nd XV) their season really only was saved by an inexplicable win against Wasps late on and London Welsh's well documented woes.

Perhaps the single most impressive thing about Worcester has been their repeated development of young English talent over the last few years, more of which we will unfortunately cover in the detention section.

Detentions:

Having just lauded Worcester's ability to identify, recruit and develop some very impressive rugby players, the biggest worry for them must surely be that even though they seek to establish themselves in the top flight, they seem to be unable to avoid the tag of being a feeder team to the more prestigious teams that they are trying to become peers with. The end of this season sees academy products Matt Kvesic join Gloucester and Joe Carlisle join Wasps, following the likes of Tom Wood, Miles Benjamin and Graham Kitchener who all came through the Worcester Academy before having their heads turned by 'bigger' clubs. If Worcester wish to cement in the Premiership then they need to find a way to put a stop what is essentially a misdirection of funds. Perhaps the new coaching team can better sell a vision of the future to their next class of starlets.

On the pitch one of Worcester's worst problems this year has been their inability to cross the try line - their total of 35 is the second lowest. To put this in perspective, they scored 12 tries less than Wasps, the lowest placed team who were not involved in the relegation picture.

Andy Goode's hair.

Head Boy:

His hair makes him look like an extra in a 1970s cop movie, and he may think that is 2002 and therefore still acceptable to wear grip mitts, but Andy Goode has once again proven that he is one of the most dependable fly halves in the business, and his contribution with the boot has been crucial for Worcester - I came across a graphic a while back that showed that he has scored a higher percentage of his team's total points than any other player in the Premiership this year.
But as important as Goode was, the revelation this season has been home grown open side Matt Kvesic. Walking away from Sixways to Gloucester with both the Player of the year and Players' Player of the year awards in his pocket, he is one of the few genuine 'fetcher' type 7s in the English game, and could be the breakout on the England summer tour in the absence of some senior players. Kvesic, Qera and Kalimafoni will give Gloucester one of the best balanced back rows in the league.

Predicted Grades Next Year:

Another mixed bag for Worcester next season I fear. The incoming Dean Ryan will bring a new broom. He is a coach I have a lot of time for, and is assembling a team of coaches to match - Shane Howarth coming in from free scoring Wasps to run his rule over the backline should go some way to correcting their inadequacies in scoring tries.

But a quick look at the players leaving the club this season is a worry. As well as Kvesic and Carlisle, a number of senior figures are on their way out to different destinations: Andy Goode (Wasps), Matt Mullan (Wasps), Shaun Perry (retired), Aleki Lutui (Edinburgh) and Nikki Walker (Edinburgh) represent the vast majority of their senior player group, and this has to be a worry. Hopefully for Worcester this outpouring of seniority is papered over by the incoming management team.
With Newcastle likely to come up and reinforce their squad heavily, I would put Worcester as my firm favourite for the drop next year.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Aviva Prem: End Of Season Report Cards - London Welsh

London Welsh

Final Position: 12th (Relegated, pending Newcastle's somewhat inevitable victory in the Championship final)
P: 22	W: 5	L: 17	D: 0	F: 412	A: 619	Pts: 23*

*Deducted 5pts because the RFU were scared they might stay up

Plus Marks:

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! In a hard, long season where Welsh could rightly feel like the world or more specifically the vested interests of certain governing bodies, was against them, Welsh came flying out of the blocks at the start of the season. Trying their hardest to follow the Blitzkrieg example blazed by Exeter a few years previous and after negating the frankly unavoidable opening defeats to Leicester and Harlequins (I'm starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but Tigers and Quins in your opening two weekends? Come on...) they came out swinging, racking up 4 out of their 5 wins by the start of December.

They were also very good at staying in games, only rarely suffering the blowouts many expected, their total of 7 losing bonus points was only bettered by Wasps, Bath and Worcester.

I also thought that when they could, they recruited as well as they could - lots of people rolled their eyes with the signing of Gavin Henson for example, but they protected themselves financially with an incentive loaded contract, meaning that they were only exposed to the potential upside of signing an (admittedly wayward) former Lion.

Detentions:

Lets be honest, they were doomed from the start. The legal challenge needed to secure their place in the top flight meant that they could do little to no recruitment, which they (and every promoted team) badly needs to flesh out a promising squad. They seemed to scramble well though, picking up who they could when they could, and were looking good until Christmas, benefitting both from their own determination and the woeful seasons of Irish and Sale. Then the scandal over Tyson Keats unfolded with the RFU seizing on the opportunity to re-establish the status quo and deducting Welsh 5 points due the criminal actions of one of their administrative employees, which even the RFU admitted Welsh knew nothing about and reported it immediately upon discovery.
This left Welsh with too much of a mountain to climb, added to the fact that their squad, wanting for nothing in terms of passion and work rate, but too short on proven top level quality were relegated.
I know it is quite obvious my views on this as you read, but I genuinely do feel that the RFU/Premiership Rugby's actions surrounding London Welsh's entry and exit to the top flight cheapen our domestic game, tarnish its image internationally and personally, as a rugby fan, leave a nasty taste in the mouth.
Their desire for the Premiership to be a nationwide competition in order to maximise advertising revenues, media exposure and growth of the game is obvious, and if done correctly commendable, but the thinly veiled voracity with which they seem to spring in to life to protect the interests of their key 'outpost' clubs such as Newcastle and Sale is worrying and needs challenging.

Head Boy:

There were a number of standouts, with the likes of Phil McKenzie and Tom Arscott auditioning well enough to be staying in the Premiership next year with Sale. The old head and dependable boot of Fly Half Gordon Ross tried valiantly to steer the Welsh ship off the rocks, and Captain John Mills led by example. But most impressive (and not just because Wasps have signed him!) has been back rower Ed Jackson - limited to 13 appearances but a strong ball carrier with a nose for the line and a resolute defender - Wasps will struggle to fill a Billy Vunipola shaped hole in their back row next year, but this is a step in the right direction

Predicted Grades Next Year:

As I mentioned earlier, save for Bedford miraculously beating Newcastle over two legs in the Championship final (odds a time of writing are as long as those for Michael Le Vell to be the new face of Childline) AND THEN mounting and winning their own legal challenge to gain promotion (they have already been assessed as not meeting promotion criteria), London Welsh are to be relegated back to the RFU Championship for the 2013/14 season.
Once there, they will again have to rejoin the feeding frenzy currently being led by the likes of Leeds, Bristol, Nottingham and Bedford in order to have another crack at bouncing up.
They will have some parachute money to throw around, but as I understand it not nearly as much as, say, Newcastle had this year, so next season should see the fairest fight for a while now for promotion from the Championship - good for the game, perhaps not so good for Welsh, who are already shipping their best players at a rate of knots. But hey, Gavin Henson might stick around though...

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

So, How Tasty Do The Wallabies Look To The Lions?

Understandably, a lot of the talk in the last couple of weeks both pre and post announcement has been fanatically focused on what the makeup of the Lions’ touring party will be. Now that I have fully digested the complexion of the touring group (more on this maybe later), I have been casting an eye across the other side of the world, looking at who will most likely be (at this point in time) pulling on a Green and Gold against the Lions come June 22^nd:

Logistics, Logistics, Logistics…

A lot of the main talk down under has centred on who was and was not named in the bafflingly titled “Wallaby Logistics Camp”. Rather, it has centred on the fact that a certain Quade Cooper was not named. Many people, me included, have got a lot of time for the flair and vision Quade can provide from fly half for both the Reds and the Aussies. There is no doubting he is a game changer at any level, but there have been a lot of questions asked about his temperament, his consistency and his defensive ‘skills’ – in short, he is a polarising figure. This was not the case for Aussie coach Robbie Deans however and refreshingly in the modern world of risk averse rugby, Cooper has been his first choice 10 for a few years now. That was of course until, frustrated at on-going ARU contract negotiations, mustering all of his well-documented common sense he decided to take to twitter and declare that he was forced to play boring rugby and that the Australian squad was a toxic environment under Deans’ charge.

This has led to Deans understandably not being too eager to bring him back in to the fold as if nothing has happened. There is also the small matter that Cooper has only recently returned from fairly major Knee surgery to consider, and there were no guarantees of either form or a change in attitude upon his return. However, Cooper does appear to have ‘seen the light’ (or at least been reminded that Lions tours only come along once in a career) and his form over the past few weeks of Super Rugby have done nothing but throw more and more weight behind the growing clamour in Australia for his timely return to the fold (this cut out pass for the try alone is worthy of his inclusion).

Fancy a Tinny Kurt?

The other big story in Australia at the moment worryingly enough again centres around one of their key flair players Kurtley Beale, who unfortunately seems to be having a bit of trouble staying off the pop, and more pertinently not punching his team mates when he has been on the pop. Beale was recently suspended and ordered to enter counselling by his ‘team’, the Melbourne Rebels, for admitting to punching teammates Gareth Delve and Cooper Vuna whilst on tour in South Africa. A couple of weeks on, and it was deemed that Beale was ready to return to rugby, and indeed made a try scoring return to Rebels action off the bench, before being pulled out of the starting line up once again ahead of the Rebels’ match against the Blues this week for breaching his agreement to not drink alcohol, and for not attending a mandatory counselling session. Matt Burke and Tim Horan gave the impression on their Sunday morning rugby show ‘The Ruck’ (podcasted onto iTunes every week – well worth a listen) that Kurtley is essentially homesick and is struggling without his support network in Sydney since his decision to follow the Dollars to Melbourne. Whilst everyone wishes him all the best in his recovery process, there is hardly a Lions fan out there who will be sad that it is now highly unlikely he will be lining up on June 22^nd.

Izzy Ready?

The third most talked about flair back (yes, I know, they have got THREE FLAIR BACKS – You listening Warren?!) in Australian rugby at the moment is the ridiculously talented Israel ‘Izzy’ Folau. At 24 Years of age, he has already played Test Rugby League for Australia as well as spending time playing top grade Aussie Rules Football. Tempted over to Union by the Waratahs, to say he has hit the ground running would be an understatement in the same league as saying Alex Ferguson was an above average manager (my one and only football reference, I promise). Playing at 15 for the ‘Tahs, he has taken to union as well as you would expect someone who has already shown the physical attributes, mental adaptability and ball skills to have already flourished at the top level of two contact sports.

With 7 tries to his name already, the rest of his stats are no less impressive – he leads Super Rugby in run attempts, run metres and is top 10 in line breaks, try assists and offloads. Standing at 6 foot 5 and with his background in Aussie Rules, he is also enabling the ‘Tahs to bring back the now retro cross field kick, which as a red zone attacking move I massively prefer to the standard ‘let’s do 20 pick and drives until we knock it on or get called off our feet’. But anyway, I digress.

Unfortunately I fear his many gifts will not be able to out sing the refrain of “he’s only played 13 weeks of rugby union” and in as pressured an environment as a Lions series I think they will go with the likes of Jesse Mogg, who whilst he lacks test experience, has more Super rugby under his belt. That is not to say his selection would not be warranted, either. He is in superb form for the Brumbies, and comes fully equipped with a cannon of a left boot, which Folau (oddly considering his Aussie Rules credentials) does not. Whilst he will remain in the squad, if nothing else to try and convince him he has a future in Union, I can’t see past him being at best an impact sub on the bench.

Moving Forwards

This leaves the Aussies in a bit of juxtaposed position from recent years, namely that their forward pack is settled and looking to be their current strength whilst their backline, somewhat in turmoil and potentially shorn of a number of their established stars (James O’Conner suffered a nasty looking chest injury this weekend as well) looks like the weak link.

In the Waratahs’ hugely impressive win against the Stormers this week, and indeed in the few weeks previous Benn Robinson, Sitaleki Timani and Tatafu Polota-Nau were imperious and the back row of Dave Dennis (brilliantly stereotypical Australian name), Michael Hooper and Wycliff Palu could well be transplanted wholesale into Gold Jerseys.

Added to this the Aussies can call on the likes of James Horwill, Saia Fainga’a and James Slipper who are going well for the Reds (who also feature my potential Aussie Bolter, Ed Quirk). If this wasn’t enough, the Aussie Pack will be further bolstered by Ben Mowen, Ben Alexander and the Prodigal Son George Smith who are all starring in the table topping Brumbies team.

The initial 25 man Aussie Squad is to be announced this Sunday, 19^th May, with a further 6 being added a few weeks later after their super rugby commitments end. My prediction is that you will find the Aussie starting XV in the 1^st Test will not be a million miles away from this, fitness allowing:

1. Benn Robinson

2. Tatafu Polota-Nau

3. Ben Alexander

4. James Horwill (c)

5. Sitaleki Timani

6. Ben Mowen

7. Michael Hooper

8. Wycliff Palu

9. Will Genia

10. Quade Cooper

11. Digby Ioane

12. Christian Leali’ifano

13. Adam Ashley-Cooper

14. James O’Connor

15. Jesse Mogg

Monday, 13 May 2013

Welcome to the OSB Blog!

Hello and welcome to the brand new (and now, according to Google, not operated by a spambot) Odd Shaped Balls Blog!

So, I have covered this on Facebook, but my original intention was to create and share a Podcast in order to discuss any and all things Rugby Union. I even managed to get a pilot episode recorded using GarageBand on our shiny new iPad and was ready to start bothering the ears of the wider community! then a couple of things happened:

1. I could not, for the life of me, get this pilot episode uploaded! I attempted to do it through Soundcloud, no joy (they don't like mp4 files), I couldn't do it through iTunes (the Ipad was registered to my wife's iTunes, and her laptop conveniently decided to pack up). That was the first impasse, however I was confident once we had got my wife's laptop repaired, I could plough on, albeit delayed and get to the business of wanging on about Rugby.

2. Then last week, some utter scrotbag decided our back window looked big enough for him to force open and fit through, which he did and proceeded to rob us blind. This included the theft of the very Ipad I had been using to record the pilot episode on! I am now faced with the ludicrous situation of having got my wife's laptop fixed, but no Ipad to plug into it to get the podcast off...

So, with all this, added to the fact that we are moving house in two weeks and two weeks after that I am off to RAF Cranwell to attempt to convince the powers that be I would be an asset to the RAF, it has become obvious that I neither have the resources nor the time to commit to making and distributing the podcast I wanted to at this moment.

But, I have promised a platform to offer opinion and debate about all things rugby, and I am a man of my word - whilst the podcast platform is going to have to go on the backburner for a while, what I thought I can do is to create this, the Odd Shaped Balls Blog, in order to share my thoughts in written form, as well as pointing you good people at stories from around the web.

I don't want to insult your intelligence, as you are already here, but the web address for this blog if you wanted to save it, or even better (for me!) to share it is:

http://osbpodcast.blogspot.co.uk/

If you have stumbled across us and didn't already know we are on social media, then you can find our pages on Facebook and Twitter here:

https://www.facebook.com/OSBpodcast

https://twitter.com/osbpod

Thanks for listening to me hammer on about my woes, and stick around - future posts will be much more rugby, and much less burglary!

Rob